Just J.Faye

Hiking & Other Adventures

My PCT Dreams and Why I’m No Longer Hiking

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I planned to start hiking the PCT on April 18 (my birthday), but now those PCT dreams are over.

no longer hiking the PCT 1

*I originally posted this on The Trek here

PCT Dreams

I’ve spent a lot of the last two years dreaming about the PCT. I began counting down to this endeavor when I secured my PCT permit in November. First by the months, then by the weeks, and then, as my flight to San Diego was quickly approaching, by the days.

My start date was getting so close. I started imagining myself on trail and could very clearly envision myself dirty and windblown from the desert with feet that ache from 20+ mile days. I could see myself laughing with new trail friends and a giant smile on my face as I curled up in my sleeping bag saying goodnight to Michael every night in our little tent.

Unfortunately, these dreams faded away one day before flying out to San Diego and three days before starting the trail.

Heart History

To back up a bit, I have a history with heart problems. I went into cardiac arrest in August 2017 and received an internal defibrillator (ICD) later that month. In September 2017 I had open heart surgery where they “unroofed” a part of my heart muscle that was covering my LAD artery and causing blood flow blockages. I went to cardiac rehab for a few weeks and graduated with flying colors. A few months later in December I found out that I had a blood clot and therefore had to delay my final heart procedure, a cardiac ablation, which would help get rid of my arrhythmias. I was put on blood thinners and anti-arrhythmic medications. During this time, I could do light exercise as long as I kept my heart rate under 140 beats per minute, but my doctors advised me to cancel my PCT 2018 plans. I was devastated. In May 2018 I found out that the blood clot was gone, so I went back to the hospital four weeks later for a cardiac ablation. I waited another four weeks to do a treadmill stress test, just to make sure everything looked good. By July 2018 my doctors told me I was good to go.

Since then I’ve worked on building back up my cardio endurance and strength. I occasionally went through bouts of nervousness and/or anxiety during hikes, runs, and tough workouts, worrying that something bad with my heart was going to happen. However, all these little spells were just my mind playing tricks on me. I’ve been receiving a download of my ICD activity every three months and for the last year everything has looked totally fine and normal. There was the occasional string of quick beats during exercise, but nothing that my ICD had to kick in and pace me out of and nothing worrisome to my doctors. I felt stronger and more confident every week.

My heart was fixed and I was ready to pursue my PCT dreams.

no longer hiking the PCT 2
Feeling on top of the world after my first post-heart surgery hike.

The PCT: One Week Out

The week leading up to leaving for the PCT I was recovering from being sick. I had a fever along with chest and shoulder pain whenever I inhaled. You don’t realize how much you breathe until it hurts! I saw my primary care doctor and, based on my symptoms, she figured I had pericarditis, which is inflammation of the lining of the heart. She did some blood tests, advised me to take ibuprofen to help with the inflammation, and scheduled an appointment for me to see a cardiologist to ensure everything my heart looked OK before starting the PCT.

The ibuprofen worked and I was back to normal. I was going to cancel my cardiologist visit for the upcoming Friday, but after a call from my PCP telling me that my blood test showed elevated troponin (a group of proteins that are released into the blood when damage is being done to the heart) canceling was no longer an option.

I went to the cardiology appointment last Friday. The appointment went well and my cardiologist didn’t seem worried. Just to be sure, he scheduled an echo to make sure there was no fluid around my heart and a treadmill stress test to make sure there were no blockages in my heart for Monday, the day before flying out to San Diego. Yes, the timing was impeccable. Although the appointment went well I had a bad feeling. I started tearing up as a I left the hospital and spent a few minutes crying in my car before driving home.

After I got some tears and frustration out of my system I started to feel more positive about these tests going fine. My heart has been working great for a year and, trust me, I tested it—intense HIIT workouts, 20-mile days while backpacking, five-mile runs. How could it all of a sudden not be working properly?

I should be fine.

The PCT: Three Days Out

I posted my gear list and my bags were packed. Was I jinxing myself by being so prepared and so excited? I was less than 24 hours from flying to San Diego.

I walked into the appointment feigning confidence. The echo was quick and there was no fluid around my heart. Success! I just had to make it through a few minutes on the treadmill.

I started walking on the treadmill thinking, “I got this. I am strong and I got this.” I needed to get my heart rate up to 160 bpm and was sitting at 135 bpm after ten minutes of speed walking at an incline. The cardiologist just finished exclaiming how in shape I was when I started feeling lightheaded and my heart rate spiked to 200 bpm.

I went into ventricular tachycardia (VT) and my PCT dreams were over.

The PCT: No More

I left the hospital that day with a sliver of hope that I could go back on anti-arrhythmic medication again and delay my PCT start by a week or two. However, after a conversation with an electrophysiologist and emails with my doctors at the Mayo Clinic, the consensus was that I needed another cardiac ablation and that I should cancel my PCT plans for this summer.

I have felt this type of devastation before—learning you need open heart surgery is no treat—but this was a little different. I already worked through my heart problems. I dealt with the recovery and overcame the fear of going into cardiac arrest again. My heart was totally fine. Now, out of the blue, it is not. No one can tell me why or how this happened.

Instead of flying to California to start the experience of a lifetime I’ll soon be flying to Minnesota to get a cardiac ablation at the Mayo Clinic.

I am grateful that these issues started now rather than after I began hiking, but this doesn’t necessarily lessen the pain I feel. They shouldn’t have started happening at all. I’m back to the point where I to go on a half-mile walk around the block and spend the whole time scared that I’ll go into VT and that my defibrillator will pace me. I know this sounds dramatic.

If you’re feeling generous I would appreciate any prayers and good vibes you can send my way hoping that this next procedure goes well.

The Bright Side?

Maybe I’ll learn something from this experience. Maybe I’ll find the silver lining. Maybe I’ll plan a PCT 2020 thru-hike. Maybe there is a bright side. Maybe. But right now I tear up every time I think about the PCT. My PCT plans have been thwarted twice by my heart issues and I’m not sure I can go through this disappointment again.

We’ll see.

One great note is that Michael will still be hiking the PCT. He doesn’t have much of a choice in the matter; I am making him do it. At least one of us should go enjoy the trail, right? He’s been such a pillar of support for me through this whole mess. It hurts both of us, because we dreamed of doing this together, but I am excited for him and I’ll cheer him on (despite missing him desperately) along with all the other 2019 PCT thru-hikers. Hopefully, we’ll be able to hike the Colorado Trail together in September like we planned.

A Note to PCT Thru-Hikers

Savor every moment out on the trail. Be thankful that you are out there. Please. You are so lucky.

no longer hiking the PCT 3
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PCT Gear List

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Time to share my PCT gear list!

PCT gear list

Big 3

PCT gear list

I still titled this section “Big 3” despite only having two items. Michael will be carrying our tent, which is the Zpacks Duplex.

Clothes

PCT gear list

Below is what I’m starting with for the desert. I’ll probably have some warmer layers sent to me (thanks in advance, Katie!) for the Sierras, where it’ll be a little colder.

Accessories

PCT gear list

The accessories, which are a mix of necessities and luxuries. I love all of these things so much!

Other

I didn’t think it was worth taking a picture of these things or adding links. I think you can imagine what a tooth brush and toothpaste look like. Haha.

  • iPhone + charger
  • Camera + extra battery + charging cord
  • Medical kit
  • Diva cup
  • Hand sanitizer
  • Toothbrush
  • Toothpaste
  • Wet wipes
  • Body glide
  • Bandana

*full disclosure: Gossamer Gear, Rawlogy, and Sawyer sent me these items for free.

Everything

Here it is, the full picture of everything I will be carrying with me on the PCT! Overall, my pack without food and water weighs 10-11 pounds.

PCT gear list

Michael and I fly to San Diego tomorrow and then start the PCT on Thursday!

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PCT Training Weeks 13, 14, & 15

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You guys! Michael and I are getting so close to leaving for the PCT. We fly out to San Diego on Tuesday. I am freaking out and am so excited!

Below is my final summary of PCT training for my last three weeks of training. Although between being sick and doctor visits these have been my slowest weeks of training.

PCT Training Goals

You can read about our PCT and CT goals here.

There’s just a few weeks left to go and I’m still trying to train as much as I can. Preparing my body to hike 25 miles a day for 4-5 months isn’t super reasonable. A lot of people say that your PCT training is basically the first month of the hike; however, I want to start the trail as prepared as possible in order to feel strong and minimize risk of injury.

My minimum goals for each week are:

  • Hike x1
  • Run x2
  • Stairmill or incline walking x2
  • Strength training workout x2
  • Stretch!!

Running trumps the stairmill and hiking trumps both the stairmill and running. If I get in an extra hike, but only squeeze in one run I’m totally fine with that.

PCT Training Week 13

PCT Training
  • Sun March 24: cardio barre workout
  • Mon March 25: 3-mile walk + this full body HIIT workout
  • Tues March 26: 5-mile run
  • Wed March 27: North Table Mountain hike
  • Thurs March 28: 4-mile run
  • Fri March 29: 2-mile incline walk + 9-mile bike + this leg and core kettlebell workout
  • Sat March 30: 1-mile incline walk + 12.3-mile bike

As I mentioned in my last training post I was visiting my family out in South Dakota. My sister and I fit a couple of early morning workouts in before my nephew woke up each morning. It was fun to workout together! On Monday we (along with my sister-in-law) took advantage of the spring weather and took the littles out for walk. More family pictures at the end of the post 🙂

Fortunately, a week of no rain/snow and some higher temperatures dried out the trails! I was able to get out for a lap around North Table Mountain and, oh man, it was delightful! It also gave me a chance to test out my new pack. A few months ago I applied to be a Gossamer Gear ambassador and while I didn’t make the cut they did want to partner with me this year and send me some gear. I picked out the Camo Kumo 36 Superlight Backpack and the Hipster fanny pack. I love both items and can’t wait to use them on the PCT! I’ll be doing a full gear post soon so that you can see what else I’m bringing.

PCT Training Week 14

  • Sun March 31: 1-mile incline walk + 12.3-mile bike
  • Mon April 1: 17.8-mile hike
  • Tues April 2: 4-mile run
  • Wed April 3: 1-mile incline walk + this leg and core kettlebell workout + 9-mile bike
  • Thurs April 4: Rest
  • Fri April 5: Rest
  • Sat April 6: Rest

3 rest days? Pretty lazy, right? Actually, as I mentioned in this post I was pretty sick with a fever and pericarditis, which is inflammation of the pericardium, which is the tissue lining the heart. All my body wanted to do was rest, so that’s what I did. I saw my primary care doctor on Monday, started taking consistent ibuprofen (which is how you get rid of pericarditis), and began feeling much better.

Prior to getting sick I did get some nice workouts in! Michael went and I went on a long training hike in Boulder and it was the best time. Soon we will get to do that every day!

PCT Training Week 15

  • Sun April 7: 3-mile walk
  • Mon April 8: Rest
  • Tues April 9: Rest
  • Wed April 10: 9-mile bike
  • Thurs April 11: 12-mile bike
  • Fri April 12: 12-mile bike
  • Sat April 13: Rest

Another kind of lame week for working training. This makes me really sad looking at it, but it’s what I could do with the energy I had. I didn’t fully recover from my fever/pericarditis until Wednesday, so I was able to get in some biking.

As I mentioned, I was feeling better by Wednesday, but I got a call from my primary care doctor on Thursday saying that my troponin levels were elevated when I did some blood tests on Monday. Troponin is a group of proteins that are released into the blood when damage is being done to the heart. Obviously, it’s not what I wanted to hear. I was able to get in to visit a Cardiologist on Friday. It seemed that everything looked fine, but he wants me to come in on Monday for a quick echo and a stress test. I won’t lie, I sobbed in my car a little bit after this. I know that everything will be fine, especially because I’ve been feeling totally normal, but I hate being in this position again. I have gone through so many heart tests in the past few years. I thought these days were over.

On the bright side, it was fun week of meeting of with various friends who wanted to wish us well before heading to the PCT. I’m lucky to have such a strong support group here in Denver!

a blurry pic from my going away/birthday happy hour with girlfriends on Thursday

Training Summary

Week 13

  • 1 hike, 2 runs, 2 stairmill/incline walk, 3 strength training, 1 walk, 2 bike

Week 14

  • 1 hike, 1 run, 2 stairmill/incline walk, 1 strength training, 2 bike

Week 15

  • 0 hike, 0 runs, 0 stairmill/incline walk, 0 strength training, 3 bike, 1 walk

As promised, below are some extra pictures from my visit with family. It was the best weekend. I savor every moment I get to spend with these people.

We somehow got a decent group picture
My two favorite little people
The fam surprised me with an early birthday cake, since I start the PCT on my actual birthday
I also got to catch up with some friends that I haven’t seen in a while
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Thoughts About Starting The PCT With Only 1 Week To Go

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Michael and I are only one short week away from starting the PCT! I’m excited, nervous, and everything in between.

PCT 1 week to go

What Led Me To The PCT

I first learned about the PCT in 2013 when I read Wild. While I didn’t immediately start dreaming about the PCT, I did start thinking about mountains, hiking, and backpacking. These thoughts led me to hike the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu and also to move to Denver, both in 2015.

In January of 2017 I read through the thru-hiker issue of either Outside of Backpacker (I can’t remember which one) and was inspired to start seriously thinking about planning for a PCT thru-hike. Later that week I told my parents that I was going to hiking the PCT in 2018. Ironically, my first date with Michael was the next day. I asked him an annoying amount of questions about his 2015 PCT thru-hike. I didn’t know if there was going to be a 2nd date, so I had to get all the information I could out of him! Fortunately, there was a 2nd date, and a 3rd, and a 4th, and many more after that.

Later that year in June after a quick backpacking trip, Michael and I were high on endorphins and sunshine and decided we were going to hike the PCT the next summer, in 2018. As it happens, life got in the way. I spent the rest of the summer, fall, and winter having and recovering from various heart complications and procedures (cardiac arrest, receiving an internal defibrillator, having open heart surgery, and a blood clot). In January 2018 we made the call to delay the PCT by one year. I was heartbroken, literally and figuratively.

Fortunately, I received some happy heart news that spring – my blood clot was gone, I got a cardiac ablation, and I passed my stress test. We still couldn’t do the PCT, but we spent that summer backpacking in National Parks and thru-hiking the Superior Hiking Trail. When we got back to Denver in September there was not doubt in either of our minds that we would be hiking the PCT in 2019.

Now Only 1 Week To Go

PCT 1 week to go

So, now here I am with only one week before starting the PCT. I’ve bought my gear, trained, and have been mentally preparing. Am I ready? Yes, probably.

Gear

I have all my gear, or at least I hope I do. Michael and I are going to go through our packs this weekend and make sure we have everything we need. I’m planning on doing a gear post, so you can see what I’m bringing. As it stands now my base weight (everything aside from food and water) is 9-10 pounds. Not bad!

Physical Fitness

Physically, I had a little bit of a setback this week and was sick from Thursday to Wednesday. I had a fever and whenever I took a breath in my chest and shoulders would hurt. It felt like there was so much pressure in my chest, kind of like I still had my post-surgery chest drainage tubes stuck in there. This same thing happened back in December and it passed, so I wasn’t too worried about it, but I did go to the doctor to get it checked out. Based on my symptoms I probably had pericarditis, which is inflammation of the pericardium, which is the tissue lining the heart. It’s a virus and is treated with ibuprofen (or any NSAID). My doctor said I’m probably more susceptible to it, due to my heart surgeries. Now that I know what it is I can start fighting it right away in case it happens again. Hopefully it doesn’t, but I’m sure it will.

Being sick so close to leaving for the trail was annoying. I’m thankful that it wasn’t any later, but I had zero energy to do anything. I forced myself to do the things I needed to do (ie work) and spent the rest of the time taking naps and reading. Coincidentally my sickness timed perfectly with the most beautiful weather window we’ve had in Denver so far this year – 70’s and sunny. So of course when I started feeling better yesterday there was a blizzard. I was able to get out for a walk on Sunday and spent some time sitting outside reading, so it wasn’t a complete waste.

Leading up to being sick I have felt great physically! Michael and I did a 17.8-mile hike last week and it was awesome. I definitely could have knocked out a few more miles if I needed to. However, being sick always kicks me down a little bit, so we’ll see what my last few workouts look like before flying out to San Diego on Tuesday. Hopefully, I didn’t lose all of my fitness!

Heart Health

Considering all the backpacking I did last summer and all the strength and cardio training I’ve been doing this year I’m really not worried about anything happening with my heart. Although at points along the PCT I’m sure I’ll think that I’m about to have some sort of episode. I don’t know why I still allow my mind to go to these negative places, but I haven’t fully mastered the ability to banish these thoughts. Hopefully, as my body gets stronger the farther I hike my mind will strengthen with it.

I just had a download of all the activity on my internal defibrillator from the last three months and everything looked normal and great! Knowing this helps a lot. There were a few times I was out running in early March and I thought I felt something weird going on, but nope, all in my heard.

And in case you’re wondering my cardiologist at Mayo and my primary care doctor in Denver both know that I’m about to get on the PCT and they are totally onboard with it and are excited for me.

Getting To The Trail

Michael and I fly out to San Diego on Tuesday morning. I feel like we’re both going to be a big ball of anxious nerves and energy. Michael’s sister is giving us a ride to the airport (thanks Jenn!) and I already warned her/apologized for us being a disaster.

To help our backpacks get safely through the airport and the flight I ordered a couple of cheap duffel bags from Amazon. We can store our packs and trekking poles in the duffel bags and check them on the flight. We’ll be walking through the airport in our hiking clothes and fanny packs like all the cool kids.

Once we land in San Diego we’ll explore around the city and hopefully catch some ocean views. We’re staying with some family (thanks Greg & Kirsten!) that night, so we’ll spend the evening hanging out with them and catching up.

The next day we’ll be headed to Scout and Frodo’s house. Scout and Frodo are trail angels that take in PCT hikers before they start the trail. They invite hikers into their home to stay the night, offer dinner and breakfast, and give rides to the trailhead. They are generous people who have been hosting hikers since 2006. We’re excited to stay with them and to meet other hikers who will be starting with us.

Then on April 18, I’ll turn 32 and start walking from Mexico to Canada with the love of my life.

love of my life


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PCT Training Weeks 11 & 12

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Another PCT training post for you!

As you definitely know by now, Michael and I are hiking the PCT and Colorado Trail this summer. You can read about our goals here.

I realize that we have some aggressive goals, so I’m trying to train for it as much as I can. Preparing my body to hike 25 miles a day for 4-5 months is a big ask. A lot of people say that your PCT training is basically the first month of the hike; however, I want to start the trail as prepared as possible in order to feel strong and minimize risk of injury.

My minimum goals for each week are:

  • Hike x1
  • Run x2
  • Stairmill or incline walking x2
  • Strength training workout x2
  • Stretch!!

Running trumps the stairmill and hiking trumps both the stairmill and running. If I get in an extra hike, but only squeeze in one run I’m totally fine with that.

PCT Training Week 11

  • Sun March 10: 5-mile run
  • Mon March 11: Walker Ranch Loop hike
  • Tues March 12: 3.1-mile run
  • Wed March 13: .5-mile incline walk + this HIIT workout
  • Thurs March 14: 3.5-mile incline walk
  • Fri March 15: this leg workout
  • Sat March 16: North Table Mountain hike

It was an interesting week. I hit my longest run since heart surgery (5 miles!!) and fit in a nice hike with Michael before getting an annoying cold that left me feeling very tired. Afterwards, I took things easier than I typically do, but was still able to do some sort of activity each day.

Also, it is mud season right now in Colorado. During mine and Michael’s hike around North Table Mountain on Saturday the trail was terrible – so, so muddy. Hiking in thick mud is annoying and walking off trail ruins the area, so it’s kind of a lose-lose situation. I might have to hold off on hiking for a week or two until the trails dry up a little more.

PCT Training Week 12

  • Sun March 17: 3.1-mile run
  • Mon March 18: 15-mile bike + 2-mile incline walk
  • Tues March 19: 4-mile run
  • Wed March 20: 5.1-mile run
  • Thurs March 21: 15-mile bike + this leg workout
  • Fri March 22: 2-mile incline walk + 3-mile bike
  • Sat March 23: This upper body HIIT workout with my sister

The annoying cold is still dragging on. Why do they take forever to go away?!

Fortunately, I got a couple of nice runs in, even though my pace was slower than normal. I didn’t hike because of the mud situation. Hopefully I can hit the trail next week, because it’s really starting to feel like spring out here!

Rawlogy was nice enough to send Michael and I some cork massage balls to bring with us on the PCT. They are only 1-2 ounces, so we can each bring one without weighing down our packs.

Summary

Week 11

  • 2 hikes, 2 runs, 1 stairmill/incline walk, 2 strength training, 1 walk

Week 12

  • 0 hikes, 3 runs, 2 stairmill/incline walk, 2 strength training, 3 bike

T – 24 days!

Anyone else celebrate pi day on 3/14?!

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PCT Training Weeks 9 & 10

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Michael and I will be starting the Pacific Crest Trail on April 18. I can now say that we leave next month. It’s crazy!

PCT Training wks 9 & 10 - 1

You can read about our PCT goals here.

I realize that we have pretty big goals, so I’m trying to train for it as much as I can. Preparing my body to hike 25 miles a day for 4-5 months is a big ask. A lot of people say that your PCT training is basically the first month of the hike; however, I want to start the trail as prepared as possible in order to feel strong and minimize risk of injury.

My minimum goals for each week are:

  • Hike x1
  • Run x2
  • Stairmill or incline walking x2
  • Strength training workout x2
  • Stretch!!

Running trumps the stairmill and hiking trumps both the stairmill and running. If I get in an extra hike, but only squeeze in one run I’m totally fine with that.

I recently deleted yoga from my weekly goals. I haven’t been doing it and I probably won’t. I am going to focus on doing a little stretching after every workout. If I do get some yoga in it’ll be bonus points for me.

I also just added incline walking as an alternative for the stairmill. The walking will probably help me just as much (if not more). I need to prepare for all of those climbs!

PCT Training Week 9

PCT Training wks 9 & 10 - 1
  • Sun February 24: 30-min stairmill + 3.2-mile run
  • Mon February 25: 13-mile bike + this strength training pyramid workout
  • Tues February 26: 2-mile incline walk + 3-mile run (alternating between the walking and the running on the treadmill)
  • Wed February 27: Mount Galbraith hike
  • Thurs February 28: 17.5-mile bike + 1-mile incline walk
  • Fri March 1: this leg workout + 3.1-mile run
  • Sat March 2: this upper body workout + 15-mile bike + 2-mile incline walk

My mom, sister, and I are all pretty into Nourish, Move, Love workouts. She just shared a free 30-day workout calendar and we are all going to try to do it. Her workouts are great, because they can be done at home, range from 10-40 minutes, and, most importantly, are good workouts! I will probably trade out days for longer cardio sessions/runs/hikes, but I’m excited to do this with my mom and sister.

PCT Training Week 10

PCT Training wks 9 & 10 - 1
  • Sun March 3: 3.1-mile run
  • Mon March 4: 2-mile incline walk + this strength and HIIT workout
  • Tues March 5: 3.1-mile run + this power yoga workout
  • Wed March 6: 3.1-mile incline walk + this 30-minute HIIT workout
  • Thurs March 7: 5.3-mile hike in Walker Ranch Open Space Park
  • Fri March 8: 2-mile inline walk + this leg workout
  • Sat March 9: rest day!

It was a great week of workouts! Two weird things about this week: I didn’t do any biking and I took a rest day. The last full on rest day I took was January 1, so I was overdue for one. After Friday’s leg workout (my butt is still sore!) I felt a little burnt out and knew that I should probably let my body rest a little more. The timing worked out well, because Michael and I spent Saturday in Golden attending the ALDHA West Ruck to talk about thru-hiking and connect with other hikers.

PCT Training Summary

PCT Training wks 9 & 10 - 1

Week 9

  • 1 hike, 3 runs, 4 stairmill/incline walk, 3 strength training, 3 bike

Week 10

  • 1 hikes, 2 runs, 3 stairmill/incline walk, 4 strength training

Have a great week!

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