Oh hey.

It’s been a long minute (AKA 11.5 months) since I’ve written anything here. 2020 was a weird one and I just didn’t feel like writing. Also, with everything happening in the world I wasn’t sure how to appropriately utilize this space. I am currently having a nice, slow Saturday morning and felt the drive to write some things down before I make myself get out for a run.

Let’s do some quick life updates.

I got married!

While 2020 was the worst in most cases it will always hold a special place in my heart, since it’s the year Michael and I got married. Unlike a lot of other pandemic weddings we were blessed in the fact that our dream wedding of an intimate, outdoor ceremony was already very covid-friendly and we had to make very little changes to our plans.

Did I wake up every day one month prior to the wedding stressing out that I contracted covid and would have to cancel the wedding? Yes. It was awful. Wedding planning would have been significantly more fun without that anxiety; however, I am extremely lucky that we were still able to have the wedding, that the wedding day/weekend was perfect, and that no one who attended the wedding got covid.

We got married on September 12 in Glacier National Park with a delicious dinner afterwards at Cafe Kandahar in Whitefish.

All pictures are by Nathan Bauman.

I’ll do a full post about it. I can’t wait to share our story!

Heart Stuff

The last time I posted about my heart was right after my Mayo trip last December where there was no new bad news. Since then I had a cardiac ablation (my second) in March. The surgery took place at the last possible moment before Mayo cancelled all elective surgeries. I was so lucky. It would have been devastating to me if it would have been postponed.

My surgery was on a Friday and everything went well (hallelujah!). They kept me in the hospital over the weekend and were planning a surgery to add a lead to my defibrillator the following Monday, but cancelled it last-minute. The reason for needing the additional lead was because one side-affect of the arrhythmia medication they decided to put me on (Sotalol) is that it can slow down one’s heart rate. Since both my resting heart rate (low 50’s) and blood pressure (90/60) were already so low, my doctors were a little nervous that lowering my heart rate more could cause some issues. The extra lead would help pace my heart from the bottom chamber if my heart rate got too low. I have been on Sotalol since March and, fortunately, have not experienced any major issues. My current resting heart rate averages 42-45 bpm, which is crazy. I do get lightheaded if I stand up too fast (who doesn’t?) and I do fatigue really easily, but if this is the most of my worries, I am a-ok with that!

My mom was at Mayo with me for the surgery and was such a trooper. She was able to hang out in the hospital with me on Friday and Saturday, where we played games and watched rom-coms, but Mayo stopped allowing visitors on Sunday. Then the hotel she was staying at shutdown, so she had to move to the one next door. Plus, she had very limited food options, because a lot of restaurants were closed. It was a wild weekend.

In July I went into my local hospital for a treadmill stress test. The last time I did one was in April 2019 when I went into VT during the test and had to cancel my PCT dreams. Needless to say, I was suuuuper nervous! A failed stress test isn’t just a huge bummer, it’s also a sign that I have more heart issues to figure out and work through. I don’t think I would have been able to handle that stress and go through those emotions all over again.

Luckily, I didn’t have to! I passed my stress test with flying colors. The test administrator was pumped, told me I had the cardiac abilities of a Navy Seal, and that I had some of the best results he’s seen in the thousands of tests he has administered. HA. I think he was confused as to why I wasn’t matching his enthusiasm. He told me I could go run marathons while I was blinking back tears trying to balance my feelings of being both excited and scared. I have passed stress tests before and thought I was in the clear only to have it all crash and burn.

BUT good news is good news. Having the results that I did was definitely something to celebrate. The constant worry that my heart is going to do something dumb and dangerous will always be there, but the excitement that I once again get to do things that I love is also there. I’m happy to say that the excitement is beating out the worry most days. It’s a great feeling.

Running & Hiking

I started running again! Running is hard! I go very, very, verryyyy slow, but running is running and I am trying my best. I signed up for a few virtual 5K’s for motivation. I did my first one the day before Thanksgiving with my mom and sister via a 3-way phone call. It was so fun! We are planning to do one on New Year’s Day together too. It’s sponsored by Altra (the company I work for) and proceeds go to Still I Run, a non-profit that promotes the benefit of running for mental health. Sign up here if you are interested!

Michael and I also have been trying to get out for hikes when we can. Everyone else in the Denver area is also trying to get out for hikes, making our favorite local trails far too crowded. It’s annoying, but I am happy that people are getting outside. Now that it’s snowing I hope that more people hit the slopes, leaving more room on the trail for me.

We recently went on an overnight backpacking adventure in Canyonlands, which was a good test for my heart. My heart did great, my legs were wobbly, my shoulders were destroyed from the weight of my pack, and it was awesome. I plan to do a full post about this as well.

To sum it all up, my heart is doing well, I am cautiously optimistic, and I can do hard things.

Other Things

Aside from wedding, heart stuff, and working on my fitness, I have been filling my quarantine time with lots of crafts. I am currently crocheting a bunch of cute mountain beanies (as seen on me here), just finished a baby quilt for my new nephew, and have my working on some large cross-stitching patterns. Working on this stuff makes me feel so productive while I sit at home and watch TV all night!

I’ve also been doing a lot of reading. Some of my favorites this year have been: Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi, American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins, A Woman is no Man by Etaf Rum, Untamed by Glennon Doyle, The Testaments by Margaret Atwood, The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett, Save Me The Plums by Ruth Reichl, The Most Fun We Ever Had by Claire Lumbardo, and Becoming by Michelle Obama.

I also jumped on the sourdough bandwagon.

Bye 2020

2020 has been very difficult, but some aspects have been wonderful. I recognize that it is an extremely privileged thing to say.

Cheers to only a few weeks left in 2020 and to more blog posts and fun things in 2021!

I don’t know how to fully express my gratitude regarding the Facebook comments from Tuesday’s post about my cardiac ablation. Seriously, I don’t. I was completely floored by all the love and encouragement and, also, slightly embarrassed. I don’t feel I deserved everyone’s kind words; however, I was happy to accept them. Every single one brightened my day and made me feel a billion times better. Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU.

And here’s some fun stuff from the internet:

• It was Popsicle Week last week. New summer goal: make them all!! Just kidding. That’s a lot. If I made one or two I’d be content.
• I’ve been reading a lot of books lately and highly recommend all of these: The Heart’s Invisible Furies, Lilac Girls, Thru-Hiking Will Break Your Heart, and Night of the Grizzlies. I’m currently reading Girl, Wash Your Face.
• We’re 34 minutes in and everyone’s hair is still holding up well. Hilarious.
• Tip on making a successful career change.
• Cold brew basics. Because it’s that time of year and I’m sure we could all use a refresher.

Have a great weekend! Are you taking an extra long one before the 4th?